The Connection Between Myself And That Archipelagic Nation
Selamat Datang!(Welcome!)
Now, I am going to share some of my life experiences.
To many of you, my username probably sounds a little bit strange. It's actually not English, it's Bahasa Indonesia , Indonesian Language, the official language of an archipelagic nation named Indonesia, which is located in Southeast Asia. Some of you maybe say my username is in Malay Language, it's ok for you to say that because so many Malay words and Indonesian words are very close to each other, they are almost the same languages.
My username is consisted of two Indonesian words: 1. Orang, which means 'human' or 'person'; 2. Selatan, which means 'south'.
The story behind my username is simple, I just had no idea about how to create a username, I wanted it sounds unique and melodious. So, at first, I wanted to create a username in foreign language, I wanted to choose English at first but I thought English names are too popular. Then I picked Indonesian words and used them in my username. The reason I picked Indonesian language was related to the experiences in my early life.
I've encountered several people who thought I was from Southeast Asia, some of my neighbors in the community asked me:"Did you come back from Malaysia?", and some others said:"Oh, you look like Vietnamese/Thai/Filipino." Anyway, some Chinese Little Pinks called me "Malay Monkey" when I disagreed with the political system of PRC or when I didn't want to define myself as 'Chinese'. And the Little Pinks also love using the term "Malay Monkey" to refer to people in my hometown, Canton Province (Guangdong Province). The reason they use such unfriendly term is that they just think Cantonese people DON'T LOOK LIKE CHINESE AT ALL and Cantonese language SOUNDS LIKE SOUTHEAST ASIAN LANGUAGES to them. Little Pinks don't love Southeast Asian countries so they always use those unfriendly words to refer to Southeast Asians or people who LOOK LIKE SOUTHEAST ASIANS to them. Well, whatever, I am still loving Southeast Asian culture. So I chose Indonesian words to make my username on this website.
So these are the stories about my username. Now, I am telling you about my mental connection with this archipelagic country. This is a long story.
Indonesia is a quite controversial country to the society of Chinese language, some people really don't like it, some people like it, and some people don't even know who and where it is. In China, many people don't like Japan due to the long-term brainwashing education the CCP gave them. Luckily, I was not the one who disliking Japan. However, I felt fearful when I hear 'Indonesia' when I was a child. When I was I child, some of my family members and the people in our neighborhood always told me: "Indonesia is so scary!" "Indonesians are not friendly people" "They kill so many Chinese!" The first time I heard of the tragic stories about Indonesian Chinese (the ones that happened in 1998) was when I browsing the Baidu Post Bar (Tieba), I read an article about the tragic event happened to Indonesian Chinese. I felt so sad and fearful when I finished reading it. When I read that article, I was just an elementary school child. Since then, every time when I heard 'Indonesia', I felt scared.
But, one day, my mind started changing. When I was browsing the video website, I found a video about traditional art performance in Indonesia. The video showed the traditional dance from Bali Island, Bali is an island in Indonesia. When I saw the Balinese dancer, that's a shocking scene to me. The Balinese culture looks so similar to Thai culture. I used to think Indonesia is entirely influenced by Islam, but the fact is, THEY KEEP THE ANCIENT CULTURES. They give space to Balinese culture, the ancient cultural art which was influenced by Hinduism. The video of Balinese traditional dance broke the stereotype I used to have about Indonesia. Then the curiosity got me, I started searching videos and information about Indonesian traditional art and culture.
Meanwhile, as I was growing up, I also started feeling the darkness from China, where I was born. The governmental system, the issues in healthcare system, unlicensed clinics and misinformation of hospitals online, the issue about food safety, the crimes, and the norms of discrimination within Chinese society:academic degree discrimination, region discrimination and even race discrimination. And the problem of the education system. I felt overwhelming when I faced tons of homework and exam at school in China. At the same time, I was experiencing school bullying. I felt hopeless and unhappy at those hard time, the desire of getting out of Chinese society was becoming stronger and stronger day by day. I even started disliking Chinese culture.
Later, I was in a foreign country. I got lots of free time, I continued to learn about different cultures on Earth. I learned that Indonesia is actually a cultural diverse country, there are Javanese people, Balinese people, Minangkabau people, Lampungese people, Dayak people, Makassarese people, Toraja people, Dutch descendants, Arab descendants, Chinese descendants and so on.Islam is not the only religion there, they also have Christianity, Hinduism and Buddhism.
I recall my experiences in the society of Chinese language. The Little Pinks always called me 'Son of Japanese', 'Son of Korean', 'Malay Descendant', 'Vietnamese Descendant', 'U.S. Cents', just because I didn't like Chinese government, Chinese political system, the school. And some people of Han Ethnicity told me:'There's no China after Song Dynasty', then they considered me as 'Mongolian Descendant', 'Manchurian Descendant', 'Xiongnu', 'Xianbei', they thought I was the barbarian who killed their ancestors, captured their homeland and destroyed Han Culture. They thought I stole the Han people's culture and homeland.
And some people who love Chinese characters always told me: "You're using the simplified ones, you are not using the real Chinese characters, you've forgot the teaching of our ancestors. You are not real Chinese."
I used to say:"I don't support the revival of Ancient Chinese Clothes (Chinese called it 'Hanfu'), I think it's difficult to distinguish between it, Kimono and Hanbok." Then a guy who seemed really love ancient China, came reply me: "You make me laugh to death, you refuse to eat the rice you planted just because other people eat your rice." Then he told me: "THE REAL CHINESE SHOULD WEAR HANFU AND LEARN THE ETIQUETTE OF HAN!" He also commented: "You are just like those CCP supporters, destroying Chinese culture!"
I have enough of it, really, until that point reached. I realize that I have never been belonged to Chinese society or even the whole Chinese Language World. I don't know too much history, but I remember that I was born in a place called Canton (Guangdong), Cantonese is my first language. And I was born in 21st century, Song Empire is unrelated to me, Ming Empire is unrelated to me, Han Empire also not related to me. Even my grandparents were not grown up in ROC era because the KMT had brought ROC to Taiwan during the time my grandparents were born. No matter those ancient empires or ROC, they are so far from my family and the time I am living in. I don't have deep connection with those era.
Little Pinks thought I was a traitor, Han people thought I was the descendant of Barbarians, PRC treated me as a chive, it didn't see me as a human but only its tool, people who love ancient Chinese cultures and ROC thought I didn't follow the teaching of ancestors, thought I destroyed Chinese culture.
"Why was I born in Chinese society?" I always think about the question. In Chinese world, people always say 'China has so many ethnic groups, Chinese culture is actually multicultural and friendly to people around the world'. But how? Why I didn't feel it? Why I never feel it? What I've experienced in Chinese world just told me:THEY ALWAYS JUST WANT A WORLD THAT ONLY HAS HAN CULTURE'. Why I was considered as 'traitor' and 'barbarian descendant' just because I refused to praise CCP? And why I was considered as 'Same As Communist' just because I refused to revive those ancient dresses? Is that me made Chinese people lose their traditions? Is that me to let the Mongols and Manchurians capture the land of Han people? Is that me to introduce Communism to China? Is that me to simplify traditional Chinese scripts?
I don't know how I can be defined as 'Communism Follower' just because I used Simplified Chinese scripts, when I enroll the school in China, I've started learning Simplified Chinese characters and the Pinyin, just because I was born in China. Actually I am really angry with CCP, I hate this government.But I can't change the fact that I was born in such system, such society. SimplifiedChinese was the writing system I've got since I started learning the words. Is the writing system really an issue? Look at Indonesia again, Indonesian people just uses latinized scripts to write their language in modern day, however, they still keep the ancient art. They still perform ancient Javanese and Balinese dances, they are still playing Gamelan and Kecapi (Indonesian traditional instruments), and we can still find so many ancient architectures which are influenced by Hinduism and Buddhism in Indonesia in modern day.
And I have no idea why I must wear ancient clothes, just because I WAS BORN IN CHINA? That's nonsense. In modern Chinese Language World, there are countless people who NEVER WEARING HANFU, even so many people who don't support CCP also don't wear Hanfu.
Sometimes I thought I was born in a wrong country, I shouldn't be born in China. Most of the happiness in my life are from foreign cultures, however, the biggest sadness is given by Chinese culture. If I wasn't a Chinese at all, why must I love Chinese culture? Why must I obey it? Anyway, I remember those guys said 'Cantonese is from Ancient Chinese language',Yeah, then how can they explain that 'I can speak Cantonese though I am not a pure Chinese'?
So, since then, I don't feel fearful when I heard 'Indonesia' anymore. Every time when I hear people crying:'Indonesia bullies Chinese people!', 'Japanese don't love Chinese people!', 'U.S. discriminates Chinese people!', 'Mongolia bullies Chinese!', 'Russia bullies Chinese!' and so on, I feel so funny. These fragile people are so nonsense, I should send Mr. Namewee's famous song 'Fragile' as a gift to them.
Now I am very interested in Indonesian language and culture, I don't feel scared anymore because I've experienced the much more scarier thing: Hurt by the country I was born. The Chinese government hurts me, the school in China hurts me, my classmates hurt me, Chinese food hurts me, my neighborhood hurts me, finally, the Chinese culture and Chinese history also hurt me. And these all happened in China, in Chinese language's society, no foreign influence involved at all. What can I say?
China is NOT MY HOMELAND AT ALL, no matter PRC or ROC.
I've loved foreign countries since my childhood, and South East Asia has gave me deep impression. I love tropical climate and the landscapes, I love islands, I think I used to live in tropical places in my past life. If I have next life, I wish I could be born in a world which is non-Chinese speaking.
Now, I am going to share some of my life experiences.
To many of you, my username probably sounds a little bit strange. It's actually not English, it's Bahasa Indonesia , Indonesian Language, the official language of an archipelagic nation named Indonesia, which is located in Southeast Asia. Some of you maybe say my username is in Malay Language, it's ok for you to say that because so many Malay words and Indonesian words are very close to each other, they are almost the same languages.
My username is consisted of two Indonesian words: 1. Orang, which means 'human' or 'person'; 2. Selatan, which means 'south'.
The story behind my username is simple, I just had no idea about how to create a username, I wanted it sounds unique and melodious. So, at first, I wanted to create a username in foreign language, I wanted to choose English at first but I thought English names are too popular. Then I picked Indonesian words and used them in my username. The reason I picked Indonesian language was related to the experiences in my early life.
I've encountered several people who thought I was from Southeast Asia, some of my neighbors in the community asked me:"Did you come back from Malaysia?", and some others said:"Oh, you look like Vietnamese/Thai/Filipino." Anyway, some Chinese Little Pinks called me "Malay Monkey" when I disagreed with the political system of PRC or when I didn't want to define myself as 'Chinese'. And the Little Pinks also love using the term "Malay Monkey" to refer to people in my hometown, Canton Province (Guangdong Province). The reason they use such unfriendly term is that they just think Cantonese people DON'T LOOK LIKE CHINESE AT ALL and Cantonese language SOUNDS LIKE SOUTHEAST ASIAN LANGUAGES to them. Little Pinks don't love Southeast Asian countries so they always use those unfriendly words to refer to Southeast Asians or people who LOOK LIKE SOUTHEAST ASIANS to them. Well, whatever, I am still loving Southeast Asian culture. So I chose Indonesian words to make my username on this website.
So these are the stories about my username. Now, I am telling you about my mental connection with this archipelagic country. This is a long story.
Indonesia is a quite controversial country to the society of Chinese language, some people really don't like it, some people like it, and some people don't even know who and where it is. In China, many people don't like Japan due to the long-term brainwashing education the CCP gave them. Luckily, I was not the one who disliking Japan. However, I felt fearful when I hear 'Indonesia' when I was a child. When I was I child, some of my family members and the people in our neighborhood always told me: "Indonesia is so scary!" "Indonesians are not friendly people" "They kill so many Chinese!" The first time I heard of the tragic stories about Indonesian Chinese (the ones that happened in 1998) was when I browsing the Baidu Post Bar (Tieba), I read an article about the tragic event happened to Indonesian Chinese. I felt so sad and fearful when I finished reading it. When I read that article, I was just an elementary school child. Since then, every time when I heard 'Indonesia', I felt scared.
But, one day, my mind started changing. When I was browsing the video website, I found a video about traditional art performance in Indonesia. The video showed the traditional dance from Bali Island, Bali is an island in Indonesia. When I saw the Balinese dancer, that's a shocking scene to me. The Balinese culture looks so similar to Thai culture. I used to think Indonesia is entirely influenced by Islam, but the fact is, THEY KEEP THE ANCIENT CULTURES. They give space to Balinese culture, the ancient cultural art which was influenced by Hinduism. The video of Balinese traditional dance broke the stereotype I used to have about Indonesia. Then the curiosity got me, I started searching videos and information about Indonesian traditional art and culture.
Meanwhile, as I was growing up, I also started feeling the darkness from China, where I was born. The governmental system, the issues in healthcare system, unlicensed clinics and misinformation of hospitals online, the issue about food safety, the crimes, and the norms of discrimination within Chinese society:academic degree discrimination, region discrimination and even race discrimination. And the problem of the education system. I felt overwhelming when I faced tons of homework and exam at school in China. At the same time, I was experiencing school bullying. I felt hopeless and unhappy at those hard time, the desire of getting out of Chinese society was becoming stronger and stronger day by day. I even started disliking Chinese culture.
Later, I was in a foreign country. I got lots of free time, I continued to learn about different cultures on Earth. I learned that Indonesia is actually a cultural diverse country, there are Javanese people, Balinese people, Minangkabau people, Lampungese people, Dayak people, Makassarese people, Toraja people, Dutch descendants, Arab descendants, Chinese descendants and so on.Islam is not the only religion there, they also have Christianity, Hinduism and Buddhism.
I recall my experiences in the society of Chinese language. The Little Pinks always called me 'Son of Japanese', 'Son of Korean', 'Malay Descendant', 'Vietnamese Descendant', 'U.S. Cents', just because I didn't like Chinese government, Chinese political system, the school. And some people of Han Ethnicity told me:'There's no China after Song Dynasty', then they considered me as 'Mongolian Descendant', 'Manchurian Descendant', 'Xiongnu', 'Xianbei', they thought I was the barbarian who killed their ancestors, captured their homeland and destroyed Han Culture. They thought I stole the Han people's culture and homeland.
And some people who love Chinese characters always told me: "You're using the simplified ones, you are not using the real Chinese characters, you've forgot the teaching of our ancestors. You are not real Chinese."
I used to say:"I don't support the revival of Ancient Chinese Clothes (Chinese called it 'Hanfu'), I think it's difficult to distinguish between it, Kimono and Hanbok." Then a guy who seemed really love ancient China, came reply me: "You make me laugh to death, you refuse to eat the rice you planted just because other people eat your rice." Then he told me: "THE REAL CHINESE SHOULD WEAR HANFU AND LEARN THE ETIQUETTE OF HAN!" He also commented: "You are just like those CCP supporters, destroying Chinese culture!"
I have enough of it, really, until that point reached. I realize that I have never been belonged to Chinese society or even the whole Chinese Language World. I don't know too much history, but I remember that I was born in a place called Canton (Guangdong), Cantonese is my first language. And I was born in 21st century, Song Empire is unrelated to me, Ming Empire is unrelated to me, Han Empire also not related to me. Even my grandparents were not grown up in ROC era because the KMT had brought ROC to Taiwan during the time my grandparents were born. No matter those ancient empires or ROC, they are so far from my family and the time I am living in. I don't have deep connection with those era.
Little Pinks thought I was a traitor, Han people thought I was the descendant of Barbarians, PRC treated me as a chive, it didn't see me as a human but only its tool, people who love ancient Chinese cultures and ROC thought I didn't follow the teaching of ancestors, thought I destroyed Chinese culture.
"Why was I born in Chinese society?" I always think about the question. In Chinese world, people always say 'China has so many ethnic groups, Chinese culture is actually multicultural and friendly to people around the world'. But how? Why I didn't feel it? Why I never feel it? What I've experienced in Chinese world just told me:THEY ALWAYS JUST WANT A WORLD THAT ONLY HAS HAN CULTURE'. Why I was considered as 'traitor' and 'barbarian descendant' just because I refused to praise CCP? And why I was considered as 'Same As Communist' just because I refused to revive those ancient dresses? Is that me made Chinese people lose their traditions? Is that me to let the Mongols and Manchurians capture the land of Han people? Is that me to introduce Communism to China? Is that me to simplify traditional Chinese scripts?
I don't know how I can be defined as 'Communism Follower' just because I used Simplified Chinese scripts, when I enroll the school in China, I've started learning Simplified Chinese characters and the Pinyin, just because I was born in China. Actually I am really angry with CCP, I hate this government.But I can't change the fact that I was born in such system, such society. SimplifiedChinese was the writing system I've got since I started learning the words. Is the writing system really an issue? Look at Indonesia again, Indonesian people just uses latinized scripts to write their language in modern day, however, they still keep the ancient art. They still perform ancient Javanese and Balinese dances, they are still playing Gamelan and Kecapi (Indonesian traditional instruments), and we can still find so many ancient architectures which are influenced by Hinduism and Buddhism in Indonesia in modern day.
And I have no idea why I must wear ancient clothes, just because I WAS BORN IN CHINA? That's nonsense. In modern Chinese Language World, there are countless people who NEVER WEARING HANFU, even so many people who don't support CCP also don't wear Hanfu.
Sometimes I thought I was born in a wrong country, I shouldn't be born in China. Most of the happiness in my life are from foreign cultures, however, the biggest sadness is given by Chinese culture. If I wasn't a Chinese at all, why must I love Chinese culture? Why must I obey it? Anyway, I remember those guys said 'Cantonese is from Ancient Chinese language',Yeah, then how can they explain that 'I can speak Cantonese though I am not a pure Chinese'?
So, since then, I don't feel fearful when I heard 'Indonesia' anymore. Every time when I hear people crying:'Indonesia bullies Chinese people!', 'Japanese don't love Chinese people!', 'U.S. discriminates Chinese people!', 'Mongolia bullies Chinese!', 'Russia bullies Chinese!' and so on, I feel so funny. These fragile people are so nonsense, I should send Mr. Namewee's famous song 'Fragile' as a gift to them.
Now I am very interested in Indonesian language and culture, I don't feel scared anymore because I've experienced the much more scarier thing: Hurt by the country I was born. The Chinese government hurts me, the school in China hurts me, my classmates hurt me, Chinese food hurts me, my neighborhood hurts me, finally, the Chinese culture and Chinese history also hurt me. And these all happened in China, in Chinese language's society, no foreign influence involved at all. What can I say?
China is NOT MY HOMELAND AT ALL, no matter PRC or ROC.
I've loved foreign countries since my childhood, and South East Asia has gave me deep impression. I love tropical climate and the landscapes, I love islands, I think I used to live in tropical places in my past life. If I have next life, I wish I could be born in a world which is non-Chinese speaking.
